This story was originally published on 1/25/2011 on the old Pack Goat Forums, which is now defunct. I dug it out of the archives and moved it here so it does not become lost in the mists of time… enjoy!

It’s been about a year since The Hat incident, and Cuzco has long accepted that buffalo horns are a natural and acceptable occurrence in human seasonal cycles. But it wasn’t until now that we finally got a photo of this phase. Here is me in my jogging suit, which on cold afternoons includes the buffalo hat:

This story was originally published on 1/12/2010 on the old Pack Goat Forums, which is now defunct. I dug it out of the archives and moved it here so it does not become lost in the mists of time… enjoy!

Emotions ran high in the Hassey Household this evening. It was a fine day today, so I put Cuzco on his tether in the vacant field next to our house so he could browse. I went late for my afternoon run, so it was getting dark when I got home and moved Cuzco into the yard. I was unhooking his chain when my goat fairly attacked me! I could hardly move him to the gate because he was on his hind legs, whirling, posturing, and waving his horn threateningly at me any time I came near him. I managed to grab him by the ear as he charged past me, and I wrestled him into the yard before he tore loose, backed up and came at me again.

And then it happened… my goat butted me! It wasn’t very hard–it didn’t hurt. But he actually backed up and charged, smacking me in the side of the leg. That’s when I decided I’d truly had it with that beast! I grabbed Cuzco by the horn and shoved his face into the dirt. Then I grabbed the scruff on his back and dug my nails in and twisted until he was forced to his knees. From there I wrestled him to the ground and sat on him. From the awkward position on his back, he lunged at me with his teeth and tried to swat me with his front hooves. We sat there for a long time before I was confident I’d won the battle. I slowly got up and Cuzco rolled over onto his side where he lay like a dead goat until I was well and truly away from him. Once he was on his feet, he looked me over briefly as though he was sizing me up, then he wisely turned and hid in his shed.

I stood there, contemplating the event and wondering what on earth could have made Cuzco so hostile. I’ll admit that once in a while he does give me a bit of guff as though testing the waters, but never has he outright attacked me, and never has it been so hard to put him in his place. As I stood there thinking, the light from the back porch fell across my shoulders, casting my shadow on the side of Cuzco’s shed. And suddenly I saw what I’d forgotten and Cuzco had observed–I was wearing the Horned Hat! 

This story was originally published on 12/28/2009 on the old Pack Goat Forums, which is now defunct. I dug it out of the archives and moved it here so it does not become lost in the mists of time… enjoy!

Phil discovered one way to turn our usually mild-mannered goat into a fire-breathing monster: wear a hat with horns! Yesterday, Phil decided to wear a souvenir given to him by some friends in Buffalo, NY–a nice wooly hat with a pair of buffalo horns sprouting boldly from the top. 

I was fastening Cuzco’s halter and leash for his daily walk when I felt the big goat stiffen. His gentle gaze hardened into a fixed glare as his hackles slowly rose to full height. I turned to see what he was looking at, and there was Phil, proud horns curving above his head. As I finished buckling the halter, Cuzco sprang into action. He went after Phil with all the force of his 200 lbs., standing up to his considerable height and charging, pawing, and charging again.

Cuzco was not brave enough to actually make contact with Phil, (he does know, ultimately, who is boss and that he WILL get licked if it comes to real blows), but he seemed to think that Phil’s acquisition of horns was a direct challenge to his goathood, and he wasn’t about to let the effrontery stand! We usually let Cuzco off the leash once we get to the dirt road, but not this time! As soon as we let him loose, Cuzco charged at Phil, blocking him and shoving him, and standing on his hind legs. An almost palpable wave of hostility emanated from every bristled hair on Cuzco’s body. Phil’s acquisition of horns was, in Cuzco’s mind, a grossly offensive breech of protocol and could not go unchallenged.

Needless to say, Phil had to keep Cuzco firmly leashed and strictly managed for the entire walk. Luckily Cuzco knows when he’s licked and can take defeat philosophically when he knows there is no hope of winning, so he was fairly docile and submissive once Phil had him by the halter. Even so, once we were home and we let Cuzco loose in his yard, he turned around swinging, ready to launch another assault as long as the horned hat was in view! 

We’ve been taking the goats out nearly every day when the weather is nice. Today the weather is decidedly NOT nice, so I’ll just post photos from back when it was.

“Deez are muh ladeez!” says Pac-Man, as he struts along with a beautiful girl on each arm.

This is a frequent sight on all our walks: Lilly attacking Daisy for no reason. The naughty goat stalks the poor dog everywhere and pounces on her at any opportunity. Daisy patiently puts up with enough abuse that I’m sure she’s earned a special place in heaven already.

Petunia is almost as big as her mother. I love the difference in ears from behind. In fact, every one of our goats has a unique set of ears that is different from all the others. I love it!

And here is our matched set–don’t they make a great couple? These two are still in love, by the way. 

…is a bucket-o-hair!

I brushed Cuzco for about ten minutes yesterday and in that short time managed to half fill this two gallon bucket. Cuzco’s coat has never been this luxurious and dandruff-free. I think it’s the oil I’ve added to his diet. I did it to help keep weight on him through the winter, but it’s done wonders for his skin and coat. I started out with vegetable oil, but that stuff makes a horrific mess of everything. So I switched to black oil sunflower seeds around Christmas. Not only are they not messy, but Cuzco goes nuts over them. The other goats took a month or so to warm up, but now everyone loves their sunflower seeds in the morning.

In other news, Lilly is starting to show. 

“I should have been in the movie… strike that. I AM the movie!”

Petunia sure loves her alfalfa! She literally says “Nom, nom, nom, nom!”

Yesterday was Phil’s birthday, and he wanted baby goats. My friend Jordan (who we bought Nibbles from) had several brand new babies to choose from and she was kind enough to bring three of them over so we could watch a movie while holding fuzzy, warm goaties in our laps! 

Yesterday was glorious. The sunlight glittered like diamonds on the new-fallen snow. Every needle on every tree was coated with shimmering white frost from the heavy fog the day before. It was a perfect day to take the goats walking. Daisy even came with us this time! This was the first time we took everyone. Usually we take two or three goats and leave the others home with the dog. But Daisy knows where her home is now and is attached to “her” goats enough that I’m no longer worried that she’ll start roaming if we let her walk with us.

Phil Hassey: Goat Baron

“I’m flying!!!”

As a side-note, Pac-Man has been growing like a weed for the past month despite a stubborn, lingering cough that he got from Cuzco and can’t seem to shake. The girls were half again his size when we got him, and now he’s almost caught up to them. Another month and I think he’ll be bigger than they are! He and Nubbin are still good friends and can usually be found in the same shed together. I should know this week if the girls have all settled, but I’m pretty sure they have. Between the girls’ rejections and Cuzco’s chaperoning, he’s almost completely stopped acting bucky and doesn’t even smell much any more, which makes him much nicer to handle and train. His more gentlemanly behavior has also enabled him to actually make friends with the girls instead of having that love/hate thing going on. I can’t wait to see how this little guy grows out!

Pac-Man may have been the one who shopped for the truck, but Nubbin is the one who owns it now!

This naughty goat was tap-dancing all over it this morning! I don’t want her to do this but I’m not sure how to make her stop now that she knows she can leap this high. The goats have never bothered the trucks before, so I’m not sure where this sudden interest came from. I tried to make her come down, but she only mocked me. Since I can’t prevent it, I suppose I might as well be amused.

“If only I could get through this window, I’d be in the driver’s seat!”

“Perhaps if I try from this angle…”

“Well, the bed looks good anyway.”

“Hey guys, come play with me!”

Goat party on the truck!

“Nubbin hit me with her truck! Give her a ticket! Take away her license! I’m dying!!!”

“She was asleep at the wheel! I swear! I have proof! Gasp!”

Petunia was right! Nubbin has some explaining to do when she shows up in traffic court!