This story was originally published on 12/28/2009 on the old Pack Goat Forums, which is now defunct. I dug it out of the archives and moved it here so it does not become lost in the mists of time… enjoy!

Phil discovered one way to turn our usually mild-mannered goat into a fire-breathing monster: wear a hat with horns! Yesterday, Phil decided to wear a souvenir given to him by some friends in Buffalo, NY–a nice wooly hat with a pair of buffalo horns sprouting boldly from the top. 

I was fastening Cuzco’s halter and leash for his daily walk when I felt the big goat stiffen. His gentle gaze hardened into a fixed glare as his hackles slowly rose to full height. I turned to see what he was looking at, and there was Phil, proud horns curving above his head. As I finished buckling the halter, Cuzco sprang into action. He went after Phil with all the force of his 200 lbs., standing up to his considerable height and charging, pawing, and charging again.

Cuzco was not brave enough to actually make contact with Phil, (he does know, ultimately, who is boss and that he WILL get licked if it comes to real blows), but he seemed to think that Phil’s acquisition of horns was a direct challenge to his goathood, and he wasn’t about to let the effrontery stand! We usually let Cuzco off the leash once we get to the dirt road, but not this time! As soon as we let him loose, Cuzco charged at Phil, blocking him and shoving him, and standing on his hind legs. An almost palpable wave of hostility emanated from every bristled hair on Cuzco’s body. Phil’s acquisition of horns was, in Cuzco’s mind, a grossly offensive breech of protocol and could not go unchallenged.

Needless to say, Phil had to keep Cuzco firmly leashed and strictly managed for the entire walk. Luckily Cuzco knows when he’s licked and can take defeat philosophically when he knows there is no hope of winning, so he was fairly docile and submissive once Phil had him by the halter. Even so, once we were home and we let Cuzco loose in his yard, he turned around swinging, ready to launch another assault as long as the horned hat was in view! 

We’ve been taking the goats out nearly every day when the weather is nice. Today the weather is decidedly NOT nice, so I’ll just post photos from back when it was.

“Deez are muh ladeez!” says Pac-Man, as he struts along with a beautiful girl on each arm.

This is a frequent sight on all our walks: Lilly attacking Daisy for no reason. The naughty goat stalks the poor dog everywhere and pounces on her at any opportunity. Daisy patiently puts up with enough abuse that I’m sure she’s earned a special place in heaven already.

Petunia is almost as big as her mother. I love the difference in ears from behind. In fact, every one of our goats has a unique set of ears that is different from all the others. I love it!

And here is our matched set–don’t they make a great couple? These two are still in love, by the way. 

…is a bucket-o-hair!

I brushed Cuzco for about ten minutes yesterday and in that short time managed to half fill this two gallon bucket. Cuzco’s coat has never been this luxurious and dandruff-free. I think it’s the oil I’ve added to his diet. I did it to help keep weight on him through the winter, but it’s done wonders for his skin and coat. I started out with vegetable oil, but that stuff makes a horrific mess of everything. So I switched to black oil sunflower seeds around Christmas. Not only are they not messy, but Cuzco goes nuts over them. The other goats took a month or so to warm up, but now everyone loves their sunflower seeds in the morning.

In other news, Lilly is starting to show. 

“I should have been in the movie… strike that. I AM the movie!”

Petunia sure loves her alfalfa! She literally says “Nom, nom, nom, nom!”

Yesterday was Phil’s birthday, and he wanted baby goats. My friend Jordan (who we bought Nibbles from) had several brand new babies to choose from and she was kind enough to bring three of them over so we could watch a movie while holding fuzzy, warm goaties in our laps! 

Yesterday was glorious. The sunlight glittered like diamonds on the new-fallen snow. Every needle on every tree was coated with shimmering white frost from the heavy fog the day before. It was a perfect day to take the goats walking. Daisy even came with us this time! This was the first time we took everyone. Usually we take two or three goats and leave the others home with the dog. But Daisy knows where her home is now and is attached to “her” goats enough that I’m no longer worried that she’ll start roaming if we let her walk with us.

Phil Hassey: Goat Baron

“I’m flying!!!”

As a side-note, Pac-Man has been growing like a weed for the past month despite a stubborn, lingering cough that he got from Cuzco and can’t seem to shake. The girls were half again his size when we got him, and now he’s almost caught up to them. Another month and I think he’ll be bigger than they are! He and Nubbin are still good friends and can usually be found in the same shed together. I should know this week if the girls have all settled, but I’m pretty sure they have. Between the girls’ rejections and Cuzco’s chaperoning, he’s almost completely stopped acting bucky and doesn’t even smell much any more, which makes him much nicer to handle and train. His more gentlemanly behavior has also enabled him to actually make friends with the girls instead of having that love/hate thing going on. I can’t wait to see how this little guy grows out!

Pac-Man may have been the one who shopped for the truck, but Nubbin is the one who owns it now!

This naughty goat was tap-dancing all over it this morning! I don’t want her to do this but I’m not sure how to make her stop now that she knows she can leap this high. The goats have never bothered the trucks before, so I’m not sure where this sudden interest came from. I tried to make her come down, but she only mocked me. Since I can’t prevent it, I suppose I might as well be amused.

“If only I could get through this window, I’d be in the driver’s seat!”

“Perhaps if I try from this angle…”

“Well, the bed looks good anyway.”

“Hey guys, come play with me!”

Goat party on the truck!

“Nubbin hit me with her truck! Give her a ticket! Take away her license! I’m dying!!!”

“She was asleep at the wheel! I swear! I have proof! Gasp!”

Petunia was right! Nubbin has some explaining to do when she shows up in traffic court!

Today, the stars aligned at the Hassey Household, and love bloomed full and fair between two lost souls who found each other and are now inseparable. Nubbin and Pac-Man were the outsiders, friendless and alone, but not any more.

I have never seen two creatures fall in love so quickly and so completely. There is more than hormones at work here. Nubbin and Pac-Man have been interested in each other ever since he arrived, but they’ve never been allowed to spend time alone. Now they don’t want to be with anyone else. There has got to be a law against this level of cuteness!

I kept the two of them together this morning so they could have their romantic time undisturbed, but even after I let them out to be with everyone else, these two stayed apart, kissing, playing, snuggling, and yeah, switching roles. 

Phil and I took just the two of them for a walk with us today. I had to keep at least one of them on a leash at all times or they would stop in the road and stand staring at each other with misty eyes. When we were walking, they pressed so close together it looked as though they were stuck with velcro from nose to tail.

I had been planning to put boys and girls up in their separate pens tonight as usual, but I knew there was no possible way I could pull Nubbin and Pac-Man apart without breaking their hearts (and keeping us awake all night with their despairing cries!). So these two stayed in the “boys’ pen” and Cuzco got moved up to the “girls’ pen” tonight, and everyone (Cuzco included) seems quite pleased with the arrangement.

Phil and I got home late from game night this evening, and I laughed when I saw Pac-Man’s head sticking out of the little Dogloo. I figured Nubbin must have kicked him out of the PolyDome. But as we got closer, Pac-Man emerged from the dog house followed closely by Nubbin. How they managed to squeeze both their bodies into that tiny space is beyond me. It can only be love!